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June 9, 2017 by
with no flogger or rope...   with nothing but your voice and mind... could you still hold your submissive or slave down? Control them? Command them? Not because they want to be, but because they have no other choice. could you still cause them fear, shame and pain? Are you too reliant on your tools? In mental or emotional work, all you have is your voice and your mind. With it, you can horrify and make someone afraid, angry, ashamed, sad... You can scar someone for life. You can break their mind. Reduce them to hysteria, a blubbering hot mess. You could leave them there... but like all forms of torture, you are responsible for bringing them around again. Can You? It's not like a skin wound, strained muscle, pinched nerve or broken bone; where you give first aid and they will probably heal soon enough if they care for it. You can't see the injury. You just know it has to be there. Sometimes I think this is underestimated. Yet we know due to the work of the military that interrogation techniques can leave someone with PTSD. From bullying research, we know that the aftermath can be suicidal or homicidal rages. Working with the mind is like biking or walking down a hill then trying to go back up the otherside when you're tired. But knowing it's the only way home. You cannot stay in the valley overnight. It's like trying to find your way thru a minefield. Where you aren't sure if the loads are active, but you know they're there...somewhere. Like walking thru a labyrinth. Or being lost in a forest and all you see is tall trees. No markings, a path plan but you aren't sure if a human made that path or a wild animal. Is it safe to take it? Then there's green confusion. Is it this tree or that one that you touched just a minute ago? I'm not saying your tools are children's toys. Yes they can and do cause harm. But in most cases, you know it's there. You can't SEE the damage to a mind, till it's way too late. So why do I often see people saying that the only true edge play are the ones that leave physical signs?

April 28, 2017 by
I like femdom, i wont list which fetishes in particular. But I remember when I hit puberty, I didn't know what femdom / bdsm was. When I jacked off for the first time, it wasn't to anything freaky, maybe a mental image of a hot girl at school or mainstream adult entertainment that you'd find on cable or at the grocery store. But as I discovered porn online, I realised that femdom turned me on in a way that normal porn did not. I can't speak for everyone, but I think a lot of people will enjoy something if it would seem real, or could be really happening to you / for you even if obviously, it was shot on film. Like POV angles are popular, as are girl next door / hot plumber etc scenes. For me, having a hot girl expressing sexual interest in me is definitely unreal. it doesn't really happen in real life. I really am as ugly, pathetic and worthless as what the girls in femdom videos say (before they torture him). watching a mainstream clip now not only does not arouse me, it makes me incredibly depressed. By luck one time, a long time later than puberty, I went out briefly on a few dates with a girl who was hot. Not just to me, but to everyone else on the street. I failed to get an erection and that quickly went down hill afterwards. When we kissed and touched, it felt unreal. Maybe in my mind I never believed it she did like me, because no one attractive ever had before (or since). I experimented with prostitutes thereafter to try things out. With a dominant prostitute who indulged my fetishes I got erect and eventually came without medication. With a normal prostitute who offered a "girlfriend experience", I felt very little as I came, the erection was off viagra and I had a headache afterwards. No shit, you might say. But I'm not sure if I was 12 again, and attractive girls DID like me that I couldn't have had sex without viagra/cialis etc. At some point, as a normal human being, I would want to finish my special project (if I ever escape poverty) so that I could genuinely be attractive to the opposite sex in a concrete way that I am not now. Because why would sadistic women, even if that was their orientation, go for a pathetic loser to be their boyfriend when they could get money off me. I don't know if anyone has had similar thoughts or experiences. I just want to know, if one day, I stop being a pathetic loser, and I know that attractive women CAN be attracted to me and I really believe that because I WOULD be attractive then, could I learn to like normal sex?

April 15, 2017 by
I’ve been into kink most of my life, but have always struck out trying to find partners, satisfying scenes, and so forth. It has only been in the last few years of my life that I realized that my gender identification had an impact on my kink. I know that sounds daft—I guess it should be obvious?—but I just wasn’t in touch with my true gender ID, and so trying to do a “scene” was a compete farce. It got to the point where I just tired of the whole thing—including erotica, porn, etc.—because something always felt “wrong.” Wrong and ridiculous. And I could never pinpoint what that was. As I’ve accepted my true gender ID more, and shaped my attitudes towards that, it has been a complete 180-degree turn. I feel so much more sex positive, kink positive, and etc. And it makes me wonder: what would things have been like had this revelation happened 10, 15 years previously? But I’m not complaining. :-) I’m just wondering if this has happened to anyone else.

April 15, 2017 by
One idea I've had but not yet used is for when I (the sub) want to initiate a scene. I can either send an email to my husband before he gets home, or leave a note for him by the front door. The note is something along the lines of a letter from the mistress of the house informing her husband that the maid has done something horrible, so horrible that the mistress couldn't even deal with the maid herself, but has left the poor maid tied up upstairs waiting for the master to deal with her accordingly. The mistress has gone out (I suppose if you're looking for a 3-way, she doesn't need to have gone out). The sub has cuffed and gagged herself somewhere in the house and the master can carry out the punishment as he chooses, but likely with some interrogation to determine what horrible (or horribly filthy) transgression the maid was guilty of and would be forced to admit to.

April 15, 2017 by
Communicate – You and your partner must communicate before practicing or playing any scenes of creating a BDSM lifestyle. You both must be completely honest with each other about what you want, what you are going to do, how far you both will be willing to take it. Know what your red light is. Perhaps create a code word that the Sub can use if she or he becomes uncomfortable or scared. If you are playing with ball and gag’s or taping a mouth shut, make sure there is a physical sign that the Sub can use if they want the scene to stop such as using a available limb to “tap out” or a head nod that indicates you need your partner to stop. 2.Trust – You can absolutely not practice BDSM if there is little or no trust. This is why sometimes if you have a new sexual partner having a trusted third party involved (i.e. a club or a trusted friend) is very important. 3.Plan – There can never be enough planning involved. Pre plan the scene. What toys, what bondage, what kind of tools will be used besides toys, i.e. hot wax. Make sure you know how to operate all of your equipment, understand each other’s boundaries and code words. 4.Take Baby Steps – Start off slow, try one thing at a time. Perhaps start with bondage. Try just using satin ribbon, and then move on to rope. Start off with using hot wax, then move on to nipple clamps. You get the idea, try one thing at a time, and add more when you and your partner are comfortable with each aspect. 5.Throw out ALL pre conceived notions about BDSM. For example, subs don’t always have “Mommy/Daddy” issues. Normal Doms aren’t sociopaths or wife beaters; being a male sub does not make you weak, and being a Female Dom does not make you a Bitch. Check all assumptions at the dungeon door, BDSM is not always about whips and chains!

April 14, 2017 by
Just vetting for a new daddy/mommy and wasn't really sure what questions would be good enough to cover everything (safety, personality, etc). So my question is, what do you wish you had asked before starting a new dynamic like that?

April 12, 2017 by
I've choked girls before but this girl in particular wants me to choke her way harder than ever previously requested. I'm totally into the idea but I don't want to end up with a dead girl on my bed. She said she's done this before but I just want a second opinion. Is it safe to actually choke someone until they pass out? Should I be worried about accidentally choking her to death? Any tips on safe choking would be appreciated, Thanks.

April 11, 2017 by
So my slave and I have talked about getting her a collar for a little while now. She doesn't know it, but I actually did get her a collar already and am going to give it to her in the next few days. I don't want to have a wedding-like grand ceremony with friends and family in attendance. But I also don't want to just toss it in her lap and say "there ya go". Everything I can find online about this talks about the former. Does anyone know of any examples of something where you just say a few words one-on-one to make it a special occasion, but not make it into a giant ceremony?

April 9, 2017 by
How visible were we to the darkness? We were under a spotlight but was there an audience? This was not how I had envisioned the outdoor backyard sex that he suggested; I thought of us fucking against the fence in the early morning hours, when few people are out and were less likely to see us. In the current blackness of the night, there probably weren’t any people out walking the trail, but I wouldn’t know – and with the backyard lit up so well, and that portion of the fence at a higher platform, we would be a huge beacon on a stage that people would be able to see. And then he stopped me on the first stair, bent me over, slowly exposed my pinkened wet need. My hands reached for a higher step for balance, especially inebriated. With my feet spread on the first step, I was tall enough for him to enter comfortably and he did…right under a light. The light not only spotlighted our naked bodies, it further projected our shadowy forms across the ground as a strange kaleidoscope collection of evidence to our public indecency. Even the water droplets looked like sparkling sequins to me that further highlighted my naked, trembling form exhibited and laid bare. And yet as his head split my lips and stretched inside of me, my brain switched the focus to how he felt inside of me, his hands keeping us balanced and connected at the hips, the wind whipping around my wet skin and causing goosebumps to rise in sharp contrast to how hot the moment felt. I closed my eyes and no longer saw the shadows or the light, no longer cared what visual we offered to the darkened world, only what pleasure he offered to me. Again, a frustrated echo of the hot tub moments before, right before I found my pleasure he withdrew and denied me a finish – this was just a brief interlude. My bent over bottom was slapped to propel me up towards that low fence that was our end goal. His body pressed against mine, propelling us towards the edge of his property that a hiking trail led people alongside so close, a trail further shrouded in darkness and shadows from our lighted perch. The wind blew even harder by the fence with less protection to block it, and he pushed my legs against it – the only part shielded from view as the barrier came waist high. He entered me from behind, his warm body pressed against my back, my breasts froze in the night temperature and wind, my face exposed to the darkness for anyone who wished to view it. It was a face that was awash in orgasm after orgasm, barely aware that the darkness and the light exposed every expression and moan of pleasure. I heard only the wind howling, the crickets chirping, and his groan as he came deep inside of my body amid my own tightening of a climax.